Grog
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GROG
Everyone knows that rum (insert: any booze) is the best drink in the world, as it promotes piracy, which in turn reduces global warming[1], but there's something even better... home-made, twice distilled rum!
Homebrew
The art of homebrew is a complex one, that I/m gonna get Scuba to write about, cos he's passionate about it, and used all sorts of words to describe it while we were getting sozzled last night. Oh, and you can use strawberries too!
Ooh hello :) So homebrew ! Well theres plenty to make: Wine, which we have attempted once, and will talk of no more.... Beer, of which we have made huge, nay ridiculous ammounts, ranging from Aussie lagers (bleh) to English real ales and even Barley wine (10%) which tastes like beer but makes you fall over! I have a couple of crates of assorted goodies hidden in the shed for a special occasion... Beers are nice `n` cheap to make, are ready to be bottled in a week or so, and are best left for a few months before drinking as they taste better with age, as do all alcoholic beverages. I will put some beery technical info somewhere on this site if nice Mr Jelf lets me. OK, the most important part of homebrewing.... Home Distilling !!! Distilling your own alcohol from sugar is the cheapest and easiest method. It is completely illegal in Australia, and everyone and their cousin seems to do it. Setting up to make your own booze will cost you about $800 give or take. Once you are up and running, you can expect to produce a bottle of standard spirits (750ml) for about $6. Liquers, imported boozes, whiskies etc etc can cost from $6 to $12 approx to produce.
I wont go too much into the details here, but as Jelf earlier mentioned.. double distilled ! Double distilling, or triple distilling will produce a clean and almost impurity free alcohol. It is a little more work, but well worth the effort for those hangover free nights of debautchery ! By double distilling you can expect to produce (with a good reflux still) 90% + alcohol with no unwanted tastes or flavours. However, alcohol content is not the most important thing here, as you will have to water it down to a drinkable strength (usually 40% or less) anyway. It is quality that is most important.
Once you have a big bucket of booze, water it down, filter it, stir it around a bit, taste it, look at it, admire it, make love to it, pour it in a bottle, add some yummy flavours or leave it as it is (vodka), stick some stuff in the bottle like strawberries (hehe), chillies etc or use a commercially produced essence to re-create any alcohol you can think of, leave it for a couple of weeks at least, then drink it!!
The method is as follows: Create your wash, in this case water and sugar and yeast (special stuff from a brewshop), let it ferment (about 3-5 days if temperature is correct), distill it (discard the first little bit, this is Methanol and will make you go blind and your doodads drop off), water it down a bit then filter it through a carbon filter (1 day if lazy, up to a week if not), water it down to required strength (usually 40%), make booze !
I can go through the methods in detail and properly if anyone wants more info. Some chemistry involved, patience and most importantly cleanliness !
Drinking Homebrew
Should be done in moderation (WTF?) , which makes sense (IT DOES?), but of course sense decreases as drinking increases, so it should be pointed out that this homebrew thing might be a setup for a big fall...
OK, well thats just crazy talk ! Drink as much as possible in the name of research ! Homebrew contains no preservatives or yukky stuff (if you choose). It is quite often the preservatives in wine/beer and some spirits that gives you the next day headache! Metabisulphite is a commonly used one, google it..yuk ! If a packet of it comes with any of your homebrew kits, THROW IT IN THE BIN ! If you sterilize everything correctly (unfortunately using a tiny ammount of the aforementioned yukness) you should not have to add any preservatives to anything you make.
Making Homebrew
Aaaar hello ! I didnt read down far enough to see this section... Anyhoow, I will put booze-making methods in detail here if requested.
Can I sell homebrew?
Of course you can ! If you are going to make it illegally, why not sell it to your mates? I have no idea what the penalties are for making or selling homebrew, and quite frankly, couldnt give a munkis-uncles nutty bits! If anyone can find out, post it here and we can all have a good larf ! HAWHAW lord of the flies essay
